to get over a breakup? Recently, a good friend of mine lent me all of her copies of Sex and the City, giving me a pretty vivid view into the female psyche (I guess). I don’t know if this is how most women think or if it’s just a New York woman kind of thing or if it is at all representative of how women in this country think in terms of men and sex and life. All I know is that a number of things they have said during the shows have been quite thought provoking. The most recent thing is when the Charlotte character states that it takes half the length of a relationship to get over that relationship after it’s over. Hm. How depressing is that? I just got out of a nearly three year relationship. Now it’s going to take me eighteen months to get over it? Is that a joke? Who can bear that much unhappiness?

You look at movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and you think, “How wonderful it would be if we could erase the memories of our heartache.” I love that movie. The only thing wrong with it is that there is one major flaw in erasing your memories. Like the old saying states, “Those who forget history are bound to repeat it.” Sure, it would probably make things a lot easier if one were to erase the memory of a lost love, but then they would forget why that love is lost. One benefit that comes from a breakup is experience. You learn so much about yourself, about people. So, when the next person comes along, unless you’re a completely shattered and dysfunctional person, you are able to take what you’ve learned from the pain you had to endure and use it to your advantage, hopefully avoiding the situations that caused so much hurt in the previous relationships.

What’s funny is that I started the Evening Melancholy radio station for people who felt like I am feeling now. You’re blue, depressed, feeling somewhat hopeless and alone. And you know what? The last thing I feel like listening to right now is other people sing about how miserable they feel. Maybe I approached this project from a completely wrong angle. Maybe I should have named the station Evening Ebullient and played all peppy tunes for the downtrodden.

Things you think about after a breakup:

“I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now”,”I’m Lost”, Let me “Drown In My Own Tears”, “Memories Of You”,”Cry Me A River”,”I’ve Grown Accustomed To Her Face”,”In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning” that’s the time you miss her most of all., “I Guess I’ll Hang My Tears Out to Dry”

You know what? The thing I just said about the station? Forget it. I know why I started the station. Somebody a long time before I got here had the same feeling I’m having now, only he/she had the ability to make art out of it, and because of that I don’t feel so all alone.