Why is it every friend request I get on MySpace is from some 19 year old girl with ponytails and tube socks pulled up to her knee caps? Her other friends are guys with names like Cash Money and Big Mike. Her general interests are working out and peroxide. She hates rude people and has watched The Notebook “like…a million times”. Am I that transparent? How do these women know that they are exactly my type??? EHarmony? Pshaw. My future bride is on MySpace! Maybe Cash Money will be my best man.

Seriously, though…what the hell?