So, I wasn’t going to comment on this because it was so utterly ridiculous. But it’s also quite sad and hilarious at the same time. A judge in the District of Columbia sued the owners of a dry cleaning establishment because they lost his pants. The couple thought they had found Judge Roy Pearson’s pants, but he claimed that they were not his. After that, the couple offered him money. He didn’t want it. Even after increasing their offer to $12,000, Pearson wasn’t satisfied. So, he sued them for 67 million dollars then, being a reasonable man, he reduced the suit to 54 million. During the trial, Pearson apparently broke down twice while representing himself. That’s how much his pants meant to him.

Some people think this whole thing may have been racially motivated since Pearson is a Black man and the store owners are Koreans who apparently do not speak English very well. But I don’t blame it on race. I blame it all on crazy. Whenever someone offers you $12,000 dollars to replace a lost pair of pants and you turn it down, that’s pure, gen-u-wine crazy right there. Whenever a courtroom has to take two recesses so you can compose yourself after enduring the interrogation of…yourself, goodbye lucidity, hello crazy.

Here’s the breakdown of his reasons for needing $54 million:

$500,000 in attorneys’ fees (he represented himself), $2 million for “discomfort, inconvenience and mental distress,” $15,000 to rent a car every weekend to drive to another dry cleaner and $51.5 million to set up a fund to help other dissatisfied local consumers sue businesses.

$15,000 to rent a car? Next time, try Hertz, dumbass. Or maybe his other dry cleaner of choice was actually in Korea.

But you know what got me the most? It wasn’t the judge. It was the 89 year old Jewish woman who compared the treatment she got from the owner to what Hitler had done to the Jews. Really? That’s how it felt? Comparing a diminutive Korean man to the worse mass murderer of the 20th century. That’s like comparing Ronald McDonald to John Wayne Gacy.

The happy ending is that the judge sided with the store owners and may even make Pearson pay their court costs. Too bad for Pearson, though. I’m sure he could have spent that money on some well-needed psychiatric evaluations.