You know, when people mention some of the most romantic lyric writers of the 20th century, one becomes accustomed to hearing names like Rodgers and Hart, Jerome Kern, Cole Porter, the Gershwins. But one man is always forgetten. He is one of the most prolific and successful songwriters/singers from the last 20th century. This genius’ name? Robert Sylvester Kelly. Most know him better by his stage name: R. Kelly.

I was in the mood for a little old school R&B from my college days and remembered how much I used to love that “Bump & Grind” remix. Every time it came on the radio, I would turn the volume knob and bob my head a little. So, I went onto the all encompassing web, found the song, downloaded it and began to listen.

A lot has changed from 1994 when this song first hit the scene. What has changed the most? My ears. First, the beat, R. Kelly’s voice, the whole mood of the song – still love it. Can’t lie on that one. But it occurred to me that the beat, the voice and the mood was all I really paid attention to 13 years ago. Because after listening to the lyrics and eventually downloading and reading them. I realized that R. Kelly knows his audience, but he ain’t no Gershwin. Let’s take a look, shall we? I’ve highlighted my favorite lines.

You know I can’t see nothing wrong with a little bump n grind baby
Repeat x 4

Sit down on the couch
Take your shoes off
Let me rub your body before I tear it off (I can just hear Sinatra belting out this line, can’t you)
The honey lover man is ready to flex
Girl flex time to have sex
We’ll start right here and work our way around
I won’t stop until I hear the “ooo ah” sound
Don’t front you know about the rodeo show (Kelly stole this line from Roy Rogers)
So show me some ID before I get knee deep into you (At some point he stopped asking for ID and just started pissing on people)
you I don’t see

Chorus
I don’t see nothing wrong
(you know I can’t see nothing wrong with a little bump n grind baby)
Repeat x 4

This is goin on till the early morn
And my word is bond so baby flex the thongs (This is how my dad wooed my mom)
I got what you want you got what I need
Homie lover friends is all I wanna be
Its the pretty round brown driving me wild (Is he talking about meatloaf?)
Oooo child things are gonna get a little freakier
And I will have you singing like a mockingbird…word (This line is almost sappy, but then he throws “word” in there and it’s all good)
Don’t front you know about the rodeo show
So show me some ID before I get knee deep into you I don’t see yeah

Chorus

Ah yeah break it down - this is the remix on the wild tip
Comin at ya for the 94

Baby turn the lights off
I’m gonna set it off
Driving you out of your mind with a
Little bump n grind
(Who needs roses are red, violets are blue when R. Kelly is in the house)

I know it sounds like I am dissing him, but honestly, I loved this song back then and still do like it a lot. Some things you have to take at face value. Not every song can be “Embraceable You”.

Let’s take a look at the upcoming schedule for the Notre Dame football team, shall we?

Sat, Sep 8 at (14) Penn State
Sat, Sep 15 at Michigan
Sat, Sep 22 Michigan State
Sat, Sep 29 at Purdue
Sat, Oct 6 at (13) UCLA
Sat, Oct 13 Boston College
Sat, Oct 20 (1) USC
Sat, Nov 3 Navy
Sat, Nov 10 Air Force
Sat, Nov 17 Duke
Sat, Nov 24 at Stanford

Conceivably, Notre Dame could go winless up until November 3rd.

I’m a huge Notre Dame fan. Have been since I was a teenager. However, the fact that they could go 0-8 this fall absolutely enthralls me. Why? Because they deserve it. I want to like Charlie Weis. I really do. But there’s a certain smugness about the guy. I get the feeling he thinks, “I don’t need this job. I deserve this job.” To me he seems like the kind of guy who would say, “Do you know who I am?? I’ve got three Super Bowl wins with the New England Patriots! What have you got?? A sandwich maybe? Can I have it?”

What irks me is that this guy got a ten year extension halfway through his 2nd year of coaching. Tyrone Willingham gets the boot after one great season and two mediocre seasons, but was practically in the same position as Weis midway through his second season and never got so much as a whiff of a contract extension. And you give Weis ten years? Okay. Georgia Tech pummeled the Irish 33-3 this past weekend and I can almost guarantee that Penn State will not be so nice this upcoming Saturday. Weis is finally playing with his guys, not Willingham’s leftovers. Let’s see what he can do. If he does go 0-8 or 1-7, what will he get at the end of the season? A pat on the back? “Better luck next year, coach. We believe in you.”

Willingham’s Huskies put the smackdown on Syracuse this weekend. Not a huge win, but a win nonetheless. They play Boise State this weekend as well as Cal and USC later in the season. I know that I am hoping for a lot, but it sure would be nice to see Willingham have a successful run this season — just to give a bit of the middle finger to his former employers.

A coworker asked me today if I would even care about this if Willingham were not African-American. I plainly told him the truth. No. I wouldn’t care. But Willingham was the first African-American coach of one of the most prestigious university football teams in the nation. He had two mediocre seasons, true. Whether that deserves the boot or not, I can not say. But his record was almost equivalent to Weis’s at the time that Weis got the contract extension. Some could say that Weis carried more weight (figuratively) what with the Super Bowl rings. But I would like to think that the head honchos at ND were a little smarter than to throw so much wampum behind a guy who had yet to really prove himself. Maybe not.

Perhaps you did deserve this job, Chuck. But after this season, you may deserve another one.