So, I’m sipping on a beer and flipping through Playboy yesterday evening when I come across an interesting little blurb. Apparently, a woman in New York was arrested for walking down the street topless. Having read this, you probably have one of two reactions. First reaction, “Well, she should have been arrested! Hasn’t she any self-respect? Hasn’t she any morals??” Second reaction, “Hell, yeah!”

Of course, I was compelled to research this further and discovered the following: In 2005, Jill Coccaro of New York was arrested for exposing her breast on the city street. She was held in custody for 12 hours before being told that prosecutors were not going to pursue charges. In June of this year, the city offered a settlement of $29,000 to Coccaro. Wait…they paid her? Yep. In 1992 the New York state appeals court ruled that women should have the same right as men to take off their shirts. Damn right, they should. It’s called equality, baby. And I love it. Coccaro was in the right and the cops were in the wrong. How often does that happen??

Coccaro says that she went topless “out of practicality.” Not sure how practical it is to walk down the street of a major city with your boobies on display, but hey, what do I know? All I know is that this law is buried in the deepest hollows of New York jurisprudence and someone needs to dredge it up and let all of the fine women of New York know that it’s alright to let their hair down and their bra snaps unfasten. Carpe diem, ladies.

Of course, reading about this odd law caused me to wonder what other weird laws New York may have. I came across a few interesting and disturbing ones.

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting – or $11 million if you’re the Knicks. A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll. A third conviction gets former president Clinton kicked out of Harlem.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun – Roger Clemons is screwed.

The penalty for jumping off a building is death – Not sure how valid this law is, but it seems to me that if you are purposefully jumping off a building, then in your mind death is the reward.

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket – Someone please explain the origin of this one to me. I’ve looked and looked but can’t find it. I thought that there was nothing greater than getting out of church on a warm, Sunday afternoon, going to the local ice cream parlor for a scoop of vanilla on a sugar cone and shoving it in my pants.

Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”. – However, they can kick each other in the nads.