Remember the scene from Stand By Me when the Wil Wheaton character encounters a deer on the train tracks early one morning? The scene is peaceful, quiet. Wheaton and the deer stare at one another for a few moments as if they are sharing a silent secret between each other. Then, the deer slowly trots off and Wheaton has that memory to keep all to himself. Remember that? A tender moment, I’d call it.

Well, tonight I was on my way to the dumpster, taking the garbage out. There is a rather large field next to the dumpster and on this particular evening there were six, that’s right, six deer grazing in the field. Now, I don’t live in some secluded little area. It can be somewhat busy at times, so imagine my surprise when I came upon six adult deer. We stood there staring at one another for about thirty seconds, and something occurred to me. Sharing a quiet moment with one deer must fill a man with an immense sense of peace. Sharing a quiet moment with six deer fills a man with an immense sense of “Oh, shit.” You know why? Because with one deer, I am pretty convinced that he is more afraid of me than I would be of him. It’s friggin’ Bambi for goodness sakes. But six deer? That’s a gang. And I wasn’t thinking of Bambi. I was thinking that at any moment these six mothers were going to rush me and kick the shit outta me.

The scary thing is that when my garbage landed in the dumpster with a rather loud THUD!!, the deer didn’t move. They just continued to stand and stare. WTF?!? Okay, fellers. I’m leaving. Sorry to disturb you. Don’t hurt me.

It’s funny how you can go from “awwww” to “awwww #&*$!!!” in just a matter of seconds.