Okay, I know this is a stupid question, but out of all the things you can steal, why art? I’m strictly thinking in monetary terms right now and I know that the theft Sunday of over 160 million dollars worth of art is a pretty impressive take. But after you steal these wonderful masterpieces, what do you do with them? I’m completely ignorant on the black market and how high priced art can be sold there. I mean, diamonds I understand. Bricks of gold, cash, stereo equipment (or car stereos, which I know all too well), computers, bonds, all different sorts of merchandise that can easily pass from one hand to another. I understand stealing those things. But art?

The three guys who robbed this museum in Zurich stole a Cezanne, a Degas, a Monet and a Van Gogh. They were either very lucky or they knew their shit, because those four guys are some heavyweights. But now what? Do you take the pieces home and hang them on the wall? Say you do that and you have friends over. You can’t tell them it’s the real thing, right? So, what’s the point? They come over and say, “Wow, that’s a nice Monet print you have there.” And you say, “Print? That’s no f’ing print! That’s…uh–”. “Yes?” “Nevermind.” All the while it’s eating you up inside that you can’t regale these peons with the story of your incredible heist.

Do you sell it on the black market? Some rich, eccentric asshole puts it on his wall and then what? Plays with himself while his eyes get all blurry from staring at the Monet for too long?

The whole point of these paintings is that people can enjoy them. Whatever happiness, love, angst, sorrow that the artist may be feeling at the time is immortalized on canvas. And for years to come, long after the artist has departed this earth, people can breathe in these paintings and exhale feeling a smidgen more content. They are at least temporarily placated by the idea that a world that can contain such beauty and imagination can’t be that bad a place.

Whatever the reason is behind the theft of these paintings, there is absolutely no justification for it. The Thomas Crown Affair was a movie (I’m referring to Brosnan’s not McQueen’s), and a pretty good one at that. But the main character, as appealing and charismatic as he may have been, was a bit of a selfish prick if you ask me. If you’ve got nothing else to do with your money, get your kicks with philanthropy or buy real estate like Trump. But art should be off limits. Beauty isn’t meant to be cooped up in someone’s attic — placed there by someone who wanted it just to know they had it.

I hope the paintings are soon found. And I do hope they are found undamaged or unmarred in any way. For if they do reach an unfortunate fate, we all lose.

Below are images of the four stolen pieces.

Poppies near Vetheuil, by Claude Monet

Count Lepic and his Daughters, by Edgar Degas

Boy in a Red Waistcoat, by Paul Cézanne

Blossoming Chestnut Branches, by Vincent Van Gogh

I want to say about the current race for the White House, but I am afraid that as soon as I unload all of my opinions and give voice to my desires for the final outcome, said opinions and desires will be immediately rendered moot by some dramatic shift in the primaries and everything I would have said would be nothing more than idealistic blather. So…I will keep my opinions to myself, stay glued to MSNBC, CNN, Huffington Post and all other news sources with my fingers crossed and my mouth securely fastened. I will say that this is the first time in all of the times I have voted that I actually voted for an individual and not a party. I feel invigorated by the political process and that has never happened to me before.

But, like I said, I will keep my opinions to myself. At least, for a few more weeks…maybe longer depending on how everything shakes out. In the meantime, I will continue to post the things that I find on various news sources and websites that either disturb or entertain me. For a sample of the latter, see below. Very clever, I thought.

Update: MSNBC is losing me. Please get rid of Chris Matthews! He bugs the shit out of me and obviously has a hard-on for Hillary Clinton. He pulls her pigtails because he secretly lusts after her body and mind. Still, he’s a tool.

Fox News tries to give John McCain away to the Dems. Only thing is…the Democrats don’t want him either.

She’s hot, edgy and funny as hell.