I want Reverend Wright to go away now. Far, far away to a land where all those who thrive on divisiveness reside. Obama had your back, Rev. And this is how you repay him? You want to get in his shit, challenge him, make him acknowledge the ills that still persist in this country? Go ahead. But why can’t you wait until the man is actually in a position where he can do something about it?

Are you truly standing up for what you believe? Or is this just a case of jealousy and the attempt to sell books. Malcolm X’s spiritual mentor loved Malcolm too, until Malcolm’s fame and adoration began to overshadow his own. Tell me, who benefits from the statements you’ve recently made? The black church? African-Americans? Certainly not the Obama campaign. I’ve spent enough days in the black church to know that the very thing black people have been praying, singing and worshiping for all these many years, Senator Obama seems to want as well. The exciting thing is that for the first time in the history of this country, there is a person of color who actually has a legitimate chance to bring about this type of change. But how far can he get when he is cut off at the knees by the very man he has admired and defended?

I don’t think anyone would deny the fact that there is a lot of work to be done when it comes to achieving equality in this country. And I don’t deny that some of the statements you have made, however caustic and controversial they may be, are at times grounded in truth. What rankles me, what I can’t seem to get my head around at this moment is why people who have fought the good fight for so long seem to want to help in bringing down a warrior of change. Why would you turn your back on the very man who refused to turn his back on you?

We live in a country that thrives on divisiveness. It fills the pews and the barbershops. It deluges the news sites and creeps upon the bottom of our television screens twenty four hours a day. It sells books and makes headlines. Why is hope a harder sell? Is idealism that bad of a word? I didn’t think so. But now…I’m not so sure.

Last week, I received a text message from a friend asking that I pray for the health of her brother, that I pray that he was able to get through his affliction and get better. I said I would. But I didn’t.

It’s not that I didn’t pray for him. It’s just that my conversations with my God don’t quite work in the way my friend implied that they should. Do I pray? Yes. Not as often as I probably should. And more often than not, my prayers are prayers of gratitude or recognition rather than requests. I have a hard time asking God for anything in my prayers. Mainly because I don’t pray that much and I would feel like a hypocrite if every time I hit a bump in the road, I asked God for help.

When I read Ray Charles’ autobiography, I took note of the fact that he kind of took the approach of being in charge of his own life. His life was in his hands. I don’t subscribe to that way of thinking completely, but I do understand what Mr. Charles was saying. I guess my point is that I would have to be in some pretty dire straits to find myself down on bended knee asking for God to intervene in some way. I would have to be in a George Bailey kind of bind. Other than that, my prayers of requests are generally that of asking God to help me make the right decisions that lead me away from chaotic predicaments. Don’t get me wrong, though. Desperation brings both humility and forgetfulness to even the most stubborn of men. Give me the right predicament and I am probably in the first pew, asking for whatever help I can get. I’ve been there before and I will probably be there again. Still, the effectiveness of such prayer remains questionable to me.

And what of illness? What then? I cannot control whether or not I get sick. There have been times where I have found myself in some pretty harrowing situations when it came to my health and at the time I remember telling God that whatever will be will be. Not that I am some brave soul or anything like that. It’s just that I could beg with every bit of strength I have remaining for God to spare my life, to spare me of pain and suffering. Thing is though, I don’t think God works that way. And if he does, my world is shot.

If I were to pray for the health of my friend’s brother and miraculously, his health improved, do I thank God for that? Can I thank God for that? So this miracle occurred and God spared one of his children. What about all of the others out there who are suffering and who have family members who have prayed only to find that there prayers were in vain? It reminds me of the miners in West Virginia a few years back. All of those miners were trapped and upon the first news break, they all miraculously survived. People there were calling it a miracle and thanking God. Later, when it was discovered that nearly every one of the miners had in fact perished, there were those who said that there was no God. He had not answered their prayers. He had spat on them.

I guess I feel like God has control over a lot of things. But whether or not a man lives or dies, whether he suffers or evades pain, God has no control over. To me, it would be crueler to have a God who intervenes when he deems necessary and idly stands aside when he has no desire to do anything. To me, a God who would perform miracles on a whim would be a sham, a prejudiced sham.

When you ask me to pray for the health of a loved one, I do pray. I pray that he is able to endure whatever suffering or peril he may encounter. I pray that God whispers to those that love the infirmed and gives them strength through the knowledge that God is there and that whatever happens, happens not in vain — even if we don’t understand it.

I’ve had some things happen in my life that saved me from a ruinous existence. These were things that I had absolutely no control over. Was my fortune due to a higher power, or did I just happen to roll a seven that day? Some days I think it was pure luck. Others…I’m not sure. Was it God? That same day, I am sure some other guy around the world crapped out and is still paying for it to this day. Perhaps he went to God with the same grievances but things didn’t pan out for him. Was that God? I hope not. No selective God for me. Drop to my knees and ask God to choose me to be the fortunate one? Ask him to be biased?

Nope. Sorry. I can’t pray that way.

There was an old man named Brett
Who hints he’s not done quite yet
His blood it runs green
Lambeau is his scene
When asked why he left - “I forget”

I realized today that in the future, if ever I encounter a fire, I will think twice before informing those who are most equipped to extinguish the blaze that trouble is in the wake. Instead, I may stand aside and contemplate the harmless flicker, warming my hands as it slowly rises and stay hidden in the shadows when it towers into an uncontrollable conflagration. Why? Because sometimes you can wave your arms and gesticulate mildly, hoping that someone will see that a burning ember is threatening to become something a lot more menacing. And instead of heeding your word or thanking you for the information, they will shove their fists into their hips, frown angrily and tell you that that isn’t the way you tell someone there is a fire. No, no. You are supposed dry hump a war vet , fart three times and kick a retarded midget. That’s protocol.

Trust me, I won’t make that mistake again.