Two things I learned while spending a little time with some high school classmates of mine last night.

1) The last place you want to catch up with people you haven’t seen in (at least) ten years is a very nice but very LOUD nightclub. “I haven’t seen you in forever! You look great! I said you look great! No, you’re not late. GREAT! Grapes? No, I — nevermind.”

2) When three of your old classmates (two men and one woman) surround you and tell you pretty emphatically to never, ever, ever get married, I think it would be in your best interest to listen to them. They didn’t appear upset or bitter — just very, very sure of the fact that marriage was a one-way ticket to the land of cash poor and melancholy. These are people I met when we were all kids, fresh and full of vigor and ideals. Then, what happened? Reality gave us all a firm kick in the nads, I guess.

And when THE WOMAN says to me, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” well — you tell me how I’m supposed to take that.