Born on Labor Day, 2004, Evening Melancholy has managed to hang on for five years, despite the fact that competition and fluctuating tastes have slightly diminished listenership.

I started the Evening Melancholy radio station back in ‘04 basically for two reasons. I had just seen Zach Braff’s movie Garden State, and for some inexplicable reason, it had a profound effect on me at that time. I kept thinking to myself, this guy is younger than me and yet, he created something that he can be proud of, something that had such a positive effect on so many people. I want to do that. At least, I want to try to accomplish that, and if I fail, at least I know I gave it my best effort.

During the time of Evening Melancholy’s creation, I was also involved in a relationship with someone who suffered from depression. In my mind, I thought I had an idea of what depression was and the effect it can have on a person and the people who love that person. I really had no idea. Depression is a debilitating disease that can’t simply be cured by sunshine and rainbows and good intentions. It can have a crippling effect on the sufferer and if you are in love with those who suffer from it, it can cripple you as well.

So, my initial intention with the station was (as the mission once stated) to provide empathy through music as well as provide links to various sites that spoke to and provided guidance for depression. Eventually, though, I just focused on the music because I realized that the disease was so much bigger than me and a few arbitrary links to websites just didn’t cut it. The links are gone, but the empathy is still there.

Many have written me over the past five years and said that while the music itself was melancholy, the feelings the music evoked were often buoyant and rejuvenating. I find it interesting that the majority of EM’s listeners are from outside the United States. It’s a great feeling, connecting with someone halfway across the world through music. It’s a great feeling to receive an email from someone who said they turned on the station and found the music so enticing, they stopped what they were doing, grabbed their wife’s hand and began dancing around their kitchen. Positive effect achieved.

So, thanks to all the listeners out there who have stuck around. Thanks for all the emails and well wishes. Yes, some have drifted away and the small group of us who adore these jazz/vocal ballad evergreens has grown even smaller, but…as long as there is someone out there to listen, Evening Melancholy will soldier on.

Love you guys!

This will be a quick post as I am writing this on the go, but I wanted to revisit the resolutions I set for myself for 2008 to see how many I successfully accomplished. I also wanted to set some goals for the upcoming year. I’m not normally a resolution guy, but I found myself returning to my 2008 resolutions over and over again in my mind, determined to meet them. So, maybe resolutions aren’t completely a self-defeating thing. Determination.

First, 2008:
1) Be willing to let go of the things and people that are not meant to be in your life
Done (for the most part) There are some that are still in my life but are held at arm’s length until I can determine if/why I still need them in my life.

2) Don’t waste your time loving the wrong people. Sounds a lot like number one, but it isn’t.
I’ve spent the majority of 2008 loving myself and not wasting my affections on the wrong people. I can’t say I didn’t have a few slips during the year, but I did do much better than 2007.

3) Get your passport.
No dice. But…keep reading.

4) Use passport mentioned above to visit the places you promised yourself you would visit in 2008
While I didn’t get my passport, I was able to travel to a different country (sorta). I went to Vancouver in the fall of this year, and as I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in Toronto. Not as exotic as I imagined, but still — I get some credit, right?

5) Finish the screenplay you’ve been promising yourself you would finish by May. (the first draft anyway)
Uh…I was well on my way to having this completed, but spilled Mountain Dew on my laptop a few months ago and it killed my momentum. Not a good excuse, I know. However, I am back on track.

6) Continue enjoying life. Don’t embrace pessimism.
I can say that, for the most part, I have done this. There have been periods of pessimism, but for the most part, I have tried to keep a stiff upper lip

7) Vote!!!
Done! And my candidate won! Now, let’s see if it was all for naught.

8 ) Seduce and wed Rev Run’s daughter Vanessa (it could happen!)
Who?? Sorry, but my affections have roamed elsewhere by now.

9) Get a friggin’ car alarm (more on that later)
Done! But…now I kinda need a new car :o(

10) Return to San Francisco (and if possible, find the crazy lady that verbally accosted me and kick her in the shin)
Done! Well, at least the returning to San Francisco part. Never found the lady, but that’s okay.

And although I didn’t get to roam to many places out of the U.S., I did travel a lot and caught quite a few major league baseball games — Cleveland, Milwaukee, Detroit, Philadelphia, Seattle, San Francisco. Gotta say, San Francisco is still my favorite, but the Seattle and Cleveland ballparks were also quite impressive. Milwaukee impressed me the least. When the roof closed on that place, it completely killed its mojo.

It has been a good year for travel and seeing new things.

2009 Resolutions:

1) Get my passport!!! (for real this time)

2) Get the new project my good friend Emily and I are working on off the ground. More on that at a later date.

3) Do the east coast baseball ballpark tour. Yankees, Mets, Orioles, Blue Jays, Red Sox, Nationals

4) Visit the Badlands and Mount Rushmore

5) Finish that damn screenplay!

6) See a Cubs game.

7) Make an effort to be more involved in the work being done to treat and cure spasmodic dysphonia.

8 ) Get tickets to the Olympic Winter games in Vancouver for 2010.

Happy New Year!

I worry about money. That’s not to say that I am a skinflint, but I can be particular about where and what I spend my money on, especially when it comes to large purchases. Large purchases to me are any items that cost over $100. As a result of this, I have often postponed purchasing certain items even though I know it would probably be in my best interest to buy them. Examples would be my car, a new computer, a large screen television (as of yet still not purchased), and my house. Out of all these things, I can honestly say that they were all good buys — except perhaps the house. But sometimes we do things because we think our heads are on straight only to realize later when our heads are in fact straight that the things we did were horribly idiotic.

“What,” you say to me with frustration cresting your brow, “does this have to do with resolutions?”

Well, this is what. I have been driving my Honda accord for nearly ten years. In that ten year span, my car has been broken into approximately six or seven times, most recently right before this past Christmas. During those times I have had several windows busted out, two stereos stolen, 100+ cds stolen and my idealism dashed upon the dark and pointed rocks of reality. This last break-in, the robbers ripped out my dashboard and stole the stereo that was actually a replacement stereo for the last stereo they stole. They hit my neighbor’s vehicle too. In fact, the morning of the robbery, my neighbor, who must be a septuagenarian and I have a sneaky suspicion that he is a vet as well, emerged from his house and exclaimed, “Ain’t that a bitch?!?” As pissed as I was about my current predicament, I must admit that it took everything in me to stifle the chuckle any young man would get when he hears grandpa cursing like Dolemite.

Any person who is reading this right now is probably asking the question, “Why didn’t you get an alarm years ago?” And you expect me to say, “Because I’m an idiot.” But I am not going to say that. I think 10% of the blame goes to me because I should know that evil lurks in the hearts of men. But 90% of the blame should go to the person or persons who actually committed the crime. Don’t you agree? At what point is it right to blame the victim? When Jodie Foster was in the bar dancing erotically (The Accused) and those men jumped her, was it her fault? Was she asking for it? Nope. I’m not equating stereo theft to rape, but I will say that a person feels violated in both cases.

If you read my earlier blog on my New Years resolutions, you would see that one of my resolutions was to get a car alarm. Now, the depressing part of this is that I will probably only have the car for another year or so, but hey, at least I feel secure in knowing that those assholes no longer have an easy target.

So, already in the month of January, I have achieved one of my goals. Hurrah! Hurrah! I have created a new category called Resolutions just so that I (and you if you so choose) can keep track of the resolutions I knock out before this year is complete. Wish me luck.

One more thing. I didn’t post about the car robbery before because I thought I should get the alarm first. With every other break-in I ranted about finally getting an alarm and never did. So, I wanted to make sure I stuck to my guns and did it. Otherwise I would probably start to give myself 20%-25% of the blame. I mean, seriously…

And lastly, the cop who came to take a report on my robbery was the laziest sonofabitch cop I have ever seen, and I’ve seen some lazy ones. It was raining on the morning he arrived and when he got there, I quickly ran out into the rain and recounted what happened. I could feel the warmth from his car’s heater wafting through his window and warming my chilled face. My back and arms were being pelted by stinging cold raindrops, which made that little warmth feel that much better. The cop must have loved it because he was hunkered down in his seat so far I was wondering if his ass was touching the asphalt below. He took my report and then he honked for my old, cursing like a sailor neighbor. That’s right. He didn’t get out of the car and walk over to him. He honked.

When I thought the cop was done, I went into my house and called the insurance company. While I was on the phone, my back was to my front door. The door was still open with the screen door closed. Through the screen door came this bright light and it danced on the walls in front of me and onto the ceiling. I turned around and saw that the cop was signaling me with his little side spotlight. That’s right. He didn’t get out of his car and knock on my door. He gave me a spotlight. Like I’m friggin’ Liza Minneli.

I walk out to the cop’s car and he says, “I need you to sign this.” He is holding a metal clipboard with a copy of the robbery report on it. I go to grab the clipboard and pull it towards me so I can sign it and the cop snatches it back into the car. “Nu uh. Lean inside and sign it. I don’t want to get wet.”

“What??? You don’t want to get wet?!? Motherf*****, I just got robbed! And you don’t want to get wet?? Get your lazy ass out that car!”

That’s what I wanted to say. I may have actually just uttered, “Yes, officer.”

I can see it now. Two guys are robbing a liquor store one rain-soaked night and as they emerge from the store, this cop is honking his horn and flashing his spotlight at them.

“You guys need to stop. Come over here.”

“Come and get us, copper!”

“Naw, nu uh. You come over and get these handcuffs and put them on yourself then jump in the back. I don’t wanna get wet.”

Protect and serve, my ass.

I find that recently I have been trying more and more to keep friends in my life who seem to not really need my friendship . I feel slighted if I find them walking away from me, and I have never been like that before. I was always the “Oh, well. Screw ‘em” guy. Now I feel like a failure if people decide to move on. That’s what friendships are, though. Some last a while, some…not so much.

I’ve been working on my New Year’s resolutions since the days of 2007 are getting short. Here is what I have come up with so far:

1) Be willing to let go of the things and people that are not meant to be in your life

2) Don’t waste your time loving the wrong people. Sounds a lot like number one, but it isn’t.

3) Get your passport.

4) Use passport mentioned above to visit the places you promised yourself you would visit in 2008

5) Finish the screenplay you’ve been promising yourself you would finish by May. (the first draft anyway)

6) Continue enjoying life. Don’t embrace pessimism.

7) Vote!!!

Seduce and wed Rev Run’s daughter Vanessa (it could happen!)

9) Get a friggin’ car alarm (more on that later)

10) Return to San Francisco (and if possible, find the crazy lady that verbally accosted me and kick her in the shin)